Updates

I really do love getting updates about my old clients.  Especially when it is good news - like hearing that they finally got a subsidized apartment we were waiting for/fighting for for the past 2 years! (she was waiting 10 years for housing, I was only around for the last 2)  Or got promoted to a full-time position at work, when last I saw them they were considering quitting the part-time position, as they were sure the employer was unimpressed with them.

Keep the good news coming!

Taking the Long View

I remember when I interviewed for my current job and was asked how I would handle transitioning to providing “long-term supports” - I was already working for this agency doing short term and crisis response work.  The director who was interviewing me stressed how challenging it can be for both worker and client to maintain hope, focus and direction over a long time.  I hadn’t really thought about it before, but must have come up with a reasonable answer, since here I am as a long term case manager.

I’ve now been in this role three, almost four years.  Some of my clients have been with me as long.  One of my very first clients has had problems with her housing situation since before I began working with her.  She also had mental health and physical health problems, family and financial issues amongst other challenges.  Basically, we both realized that until she had more suitable housing, it would be difficult to focus on her recovery, and I could basically only help her to “get by” in all the other areas mentioned.  Right from the get go I got heavily involved in working to address the housing problem.  There were family members, multiple agencies and her own issues to consider in this work.  What she needed was a first floor apartment (safety and accessibility issues) with three bedrooms (two kids of disparate ages and genders) in a particular area of town (so one child could attend a special needs school) with no carpet (severe allergy problems) and that would be eligible for the rent subsidy she receives (landlord would have to agree to work with that program, program would have to approve it and have the funds for it).  Like finding decent housing isn’t hard enough!

 

I won’t go into detail about all the ups and downs in this process over the past few years.  I will just say that a couple weeks ago, I got a call from a staff member at the housing agency.  I could hear excitement in her voice as she told me that she was looking at an apartment that she thought would fit all my client’s needs and criteria.  She could arrange a viewing in a couple days. 

The client came, kids in tow and looked around.  She couldn’t have been in the place more than 3 minutes.  It wasn’t going to work she said.  Why, I asked, as it had everything she wanted.  Did she want to take the kids to the park so we could sit and talk about it?  No, she wanted to catch the next bus, everyone was hot and she wanted to get home.

That was Friday, and on the Monday I met with her.  It went back and forth, she could see the advantage of the place, but there were certain problems…could she view it again?  I made the call and set this up.  My hopes were high, because I hadn’t even expected this much.  This time she came alone, left the kids at home.  Took a little more time looking around.  In my head I’m making plans about how to apply for grants to help cover the moving expenses, when I’m going to fit in an appointment to take her to get the key…the housing worker tells her she will need to know by the end of the day if she will take it.  I will call her in a couple hours to see what she has decided. 

When I do, she’s not ready.  Can I call later?  Of course I can.  This happens a couple times, until finally I tell her I can’t wait any longer and give her the housing worker’s number and tell her she will have to call directly.  I try to put it out of my mind as I go home that night.

Come the next morning, there are no messages for me.  It’s not until halfway through the day that the housing worker calls me to say that she will need a signed letter of refusal from the client, because she didn’t take the place.  The reason she ultimately gave was that the bedroom furniture wouldn’t fit.

I spent plenty of time that afternoon debriefing about this situation with my supervisor.  It’s times like these that it is difficult to remind myself of all those social work-y truisms – about client directed service, and individual right to determination and all that.  I will still be there to support this client either way, but I have to say I was mad.  As much as I can rationalize about her reasons, and empathize because of her history, I was mad.  Four years of work, for what?  I gave this woman my best and felt like it was totally disregarded that day. 

I know it’s not about me.  But this was one of those situations where BECAUSE I care, I couldn’t just forget about it.  It’s hard to think about possibly several more years of working with this client after this has happened.  This is where the long-term gets really tough.  This is where I start to feel tired and stuck.

The fact is, that what I need in order to keep going here are the same messages we use when talking about recovery.  Patience...hope...a willingness to fail in order to learn.  Finding the small successes that mark our progress.  Letting go of the things we cannot change.  Moving forward, because you can’t go back.  This is what will get me through the next four years of trying and trying again.  I can only hope that I will be able to inspire the same in my client.  After all, she is the one who must continue to live in her current situation.  And ultimately, she will be the one who determines when and how it changes.  Maybe I will even be there to cheer her on.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I’m breaking up with a client. At least that’s what I’m trying to do.

I’ve been seeing her for two and a half years. I picked her up from another program, and she has had case management support since 2002.

She doesn’t need me anymore. She’s said as much herself: she’s got an active life in her community, great family and professional supports, medication that works well for her. But she sticks around because she wants a ride. I drive her twice a month to her trustee, which is a fair way from her house.

This arrangement made sense when she started it with her previous case manager. She needed help not to miss the appointments, and to understand the information she was given when there. But not any more. She’s had time to learn and get used to the process, and she can do it by herself, but doesn’t want to. I can hardly blame her. Why spend money on a taxi when you can get a ride for free? And taking the bus is a pain. That, and the fact that my “support” is tied to her housing makes it difficult for me to disengage.

This is the bigger (systemic) problem. More and more the focus in community mental health services is on “recovery” and this is definitely the right idea. People don’t need to stay sick forever, and support from people like me is supposed to help. This woman has had an incredible recovery, but as it stands our supportive housing program provides no exit as long as she relies on the rent subsidy. I would never say that her subsidy should be removed before she can afford it, as having safe and stable housing is obviously a huge contributing factor to keeping her well. She can afford (IMO) to do without me.

After having explored this issue from every angle with my supervisor for months and months, examining myself for counter-tranference, and trying everything to be sure we were not under-serving her or missing ways that we could connect or provide support, my supervisor told me that I have her backing to start withdrawing transportation support. I have no desire to leave her high and dry, so I will propose that we agree on a timeline in which we can develop a new transportation plan and then I will stop chauffeuring driving her. I began practicing in my head how the conversation would go, and how I will handle her possible reactions.

I went to pick her up yesterday. She was dressed very nice and had a big smile on her face. I wished her a happy belated mother’s day and she thanked me. Then she informed me “and it’s my birthday today!” Oh crap.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t rain on her birthday parade with my difficult news. Put plainly, I chickened out.

We meet again in two weeks. I’ll do it then, I swear. Otherwise, I know I’m only prolonging the pain.

The Long Haul

How do you help a client who has been the recipient of case management supports for 14 years, and does not yet understand why she is receiving the service and what is its purpose? She can tell me exactly the number of visits she’s had (108 from me over the past 2.5 years, 784 total from all CM’s) but not why they are happening.

Careful of becoming frustrated, I go into empathetic mode. “You seem to have some questions…” “I hear that this is distressing you…” “Is there help you would like that you don’t feel you are getting…”

I’m not sure she hears what I say, as she would like to reinforce her previous statements, and repeats what she’s said before I am finished. Then repeats it again. We are testing the limits of the “recovery model” profoundly here.

So I call in the reinforcements. Her “natural supports” (dad) to keep him in the loop. He really wants to help, but doesn’t always know how. The “formal supports” (housing provider) to give a heads up and some background on the angry and frustrated phone call(s) they will inevitably be receiving. My supervisor so I can check my feelings about the situation, and get the help I need to figure out clinical solutions that may work here.

I really do believe in recovery. A situation like this makes me wonder if there was a failure in the system along the way, something early on perhaps that did not help this person gain understanding and a sense of control over their life situation (answer=probably). Perhaps it’s the set up, the fact that by accepting a rent supplement, she is bound to the “support” aspect of supportive housing. This policy has always troubled me as it is so far from “recovery” based.

On the other hand, maybe this is what recovery looks like for her. She’s been able to live in a place she likes for all those years. She has hobbies and things she likes to do, however sporadically she does them. She tells me she never wants to return to work, and does not want anything drastically different in her life.

Or instead, that could mean we haven’t done a good enough job of instilling hope and conveying a sense of what is possible.

Perhaps her journey is just a painstakingly slow long one. Maybe 14 years has just not been enough to create a new sense of self and new way of living after (what I understand to be) many years of neglect, abuse, illness and loss.

Sometimes it is just too hard to know.

Celebrate the Small Stuff

It's really easy to get bogged down by negativity and frustration in this line of work.  Sometimes you just can't help but feel that recovery is impossibly slow, and "the system" is nothing but a big nasty mess serving only to keep people down.  It doesn't help when all over the news there are stories of families who lock their mother suffering with dementia in the garage, and Community Housing Corporations with big spending problems.

This is why it is so important to celebrate the successes.  Even the small stuff. 

Yesterday a client of mine officially received a Regional rent subsidy on her apartment (not from the troubled TCHC).  This is the first client I have even been working with that I have seen come to the top of the list!  She had been waiting for 14 years.  Despite all the paperwork (which this client in particular has zero patience for) she was very excited, as was I. 

Next week we're going to Roll up the Rim to celebrate.