This post is a part of the Recovery 101 blog series. The series will explore ideas, philosophies, language, tools and questions about mental health recovery. Submit any ideas for topics in the comments section of any tagged post.
Stories of success in mental health recovery often include a moment of inspiration. An action by a friend or family member, a life event, a misfortune or a random bit of information learned may act as a catalyst to change in an individual's life. The stories I have heard often describe a change in the individual's thinking which promotes a drive or motivation to recover. They reframe their thinking. They gain hope or a positive outlook. They create a goal for themselves.
As workers or support figures we are often searching to find this source of inspiration for our clients or friends. Doubtless mental illness suffers are seeking it for themselves too.
Last week saw Bell Let's Talk day get lots of attention. I decided not to write about it at the time due to it being a corporate sponsored event, and I don't have much to say about Bell. The next day however one of my clients talked about watching a TV interview with Let's Talk spokesperson Clara Hughes along with other famous sports figures talking about their experiences with mental illness (depression and PTSD were covered as far as I remember) and how they recovered. This client himself suffers with depression. He told me that watching the show made him feel even worse. He said they each talked about how their spouse or partner helped them get through - he does not have a spouse, and when he did she was more cause for pain than support. He said they talked about how despite their various successes (Olympic medals, major trophies and awards) they still suffered. His take? If he didn't even have these type of awards, how much worse off does that make him?
Not the intended effect of the program I'm sure. What was meant to inspire in this case, really didn't help.
On the other hand I have taken clients to hear recovery stories shared by those in their community and they have reported feeling hopeful in their own lives as a result. One woman I worked with who has bipolar disorder described watching coverage of Charlie Sheen go off the rails as inspiration for her to get better because she "didn't want to end up like that guy". There are stories of people going to their doctor, support worker, family member and hearing the same message every day until finally "click!" something registered that was their moment of inspiration.
The moment of inspiration does not result in life getting fixed over night. Things may not look any different for a while. But down the road, further along the recovery journey it's the moment that someone looks back on and says "that's when everything changed for me. That's when I knew I could get better."
It's the moment that makes all the difference. Because we can be surrounded by the most well-meaning people in the world, all the praise and validation one could ask for. But if we are suffering inside, true change will not come until we are open to it. And the key to open the door may come in all kinds of strange and unpredictable forms.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Fingers Crossed (Toes Too)
I applied for a job yesterday.
Truthfully, I do this all the time, but this is one job I think I'd actually like to get. It looks great on paper, and seems to fit most of my job search criteria. So I tried to make myself look good on paper, and sent off the ol'resume. Well, acutally a new resume. I tend to nit pick and rewrite obsessively when applying for any new posting.
So now fingers are crossed that I will get an interview. And that it will go better than the last one!
In the meantime, I'm trying to follow-through with the goals I set for myself at work this year and remain positive. One day at a time, right?
Truthfully, I do this all the time, but this is one job I think I'd actually like to get. It looks great on paper, and seems to fit most of my job search criteria. So I tried to make myself look good on paper, and sent off the ol'resume. Well, acutally a new resume. I tend to nit pick and rewrite obsessively when applying for any new posting.
So now fingers are crossed that I will get an interview. And that it will go better than the last one!
In the meantime, I'm trying to follow-through with the goals I set for myself at work this year and remain positive. One day at a time, right?
Monday, February 6, 2012
Wurkd fer mee
A co-worker exclaiming over some (presumably) outrageous spelling errors:
I'm not hooked on phonics people, but come on!
I'm not hooked on phonics people, but come on!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Bag Lady*
Yesterday I arrived to work carrying:
1. My work bag - contains my binder with forms, notebook, business cards and comes with me to all meetings and client appointments
2. My purse - contains personal, non work stuff like wallet, lip balm and ear plugs (they have come in handy, trust me)
3. My laptop bag - I don't usually bring this outside the office, but sometimes it's neccessity
4. A grocery bag - containing my contribution to the team pot luck (broccoli slaw - it was good)
5. My lunch bag - because despite the put luck luncheon, I was on my own for second breakfast, elevensies and afternoon tea
6. A gift bag - containing a very *lovely* purfume a client had gifted to me. I told her I couldn't accept it but I had another client who would really appreciate it, and after it sitting in my car for a week, and me inhaling the fumes I really needed to give it to her.
7. My giant tea thermos.
Oh, and I had my crackberry in my pocket.
I think I need one of those personal organization assistant people** to help me. Or I just need to listen to my 8 year old and use a backpack already.
*this term always gets this song stuck in my head
**this is a thing, right? These people really exist???
1. My work bag - contains my binder with forms, notebook, business cards and comes with me to all meetings and client appointments
2. My purse - contains personal, non work stuff like wallet, lip balm and ear plugs (they have come in handy, trust me)
3. My laptop bag - I don't usually bring this outside the office, but sometimes it's neccessity
4. A grocery bag - containing my contribution to the team pot luck (broccoli slaw - it was good)
5. My lunch bag - because despite the put luck luncheon, I was on my own for second breakfast, elevensies and afternoon tea
6. A gift bag - containing a very *lovely* purfume a client had gifted to me. I told her I couldn't accept it but I had another client who would really appreciate it, and after it sitting in my car for a week, and me inhaling the fumes I really needed to give it to her.
7. My giant tea thermos.
Oh, and I had my crackberry in my pocket.
I think I need one of those personal organization assistant people** to help me. Or I just need to listen to my 8 year old and use a backpack already.
*this term always gets this song stuck in my head
**this is a thing, right? These people really exist???
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Recovery Defined?
This post is a part of the Recovery 101 blog series. The series will explore ideas, philosophies, language, tools and questions about mental health recovery. Submit any ideas for topics in the comments section of any tagged post.
Somebody recently send me this link to an LA Times article from last month about a new definition for recovery. While not introducing any new concepts, it is newly agreed upon by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in the U.S. The definition is thus:
“A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”
I have to say I kind of like it. It’s open-ended as it doesn’t specify those who suffer from some particular ailment or circumstance, and it’s free of loaded language like “meaningful activity”. It refers to people, not clients/patients.
Here are some other definitions of recovery:
The ability to live well in the presence or absence of mental illness - or whatever the person chooses to term their experience (Mental Health Commission, NZ)
Recovery is the personal process that people with mental illness go through in gaining control, meaning and purpose in their lives... (CMHA Ontario)
The goal of recovery is to become the unique, awesome, never to be repeated human being that we are called to be (Pat Deegan)
Somebody recently send me this link to an LA Times article from last month about a new definition for recovery. While not introducing any new concepts, it is newly agreed upon by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in the U.S. The definition is thus:
“A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”
I have to say I kind of like it. It’s open-ended as it doesn’t specify those who suffer from some particular ailment or circumstance, and it’s free of loaded language like “meaningful activity”. It refers to people, not clients/patients.
Here are some other definitions of recovery:
The ability to live well in the presence or absence of mental illness - or whatever the person chooses to term their experience (Mental Health Commission, NZ)
Recovery is the personal process that people with mental illness go through in gaining control, meaning and purpose in their lives... (CMHA Ontario)
The goal of recovery is to become the unique, awesome, never to be repeated human being that we are called to be (Pat Deegan)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
First Contact
Meeting a new client for the first time can present many challenges. Not least of these is figuring out WHO you are meeting. I mean this literally - as I rarely see clients in the office, and won't go into their home until I know them a bit (and barring extenuating circumstances) I generally make these appointments in some kind of neutral, casual public place ie. coffee shop. Such places generally have all kinds of people strolling in and out, so without any face recognition, it can be tricky to identify your client.
I try to ask them for a bit of a physical description when we arrange the meeting. I have learned that most people are not very good at giving this type of information. Unless there is a really obvious feature like they use a wheelchair, or have 3-foot long dreads, most people describe themselves in pretty basic terms - I'm kinda short, I have dark hair...useful stuff. I don't know if this is lack of self-awareness, or self-conciousness that prevents people from being more specific.
So I try to describe myself in order that they can find me. I try to go with some specifics that won't easily confuse me with others - I have a nose ring, I carry a large purple bag, I wear a red scarf. But many clients are nervous about a first meeting, and may not approach me. To be sure some are the complete opposite, but I've had at least one woman sit in her car staring at me through the Tim Horton's window for almost half an hour before she could psych herself up to approach me (I'm really not that intimidating!).
Then there's always the tried and true but slightly embarrasing method of "asking around" - is your name Bob? No? Sorry to bother you.
I can't help but feel this gives people the impression that I'm there for some really lame mid-afternoon scuzzy-coffee shop blind date or something.
Some clients have cell phones and sometimes they even give me the number, so then I can try to call them. Hopefully, their phone is turned on. And hopefully it has minutes. And hopefully they're not screening calls thus ignoring my "restricted number".
Usually, we track each other down eventually. Sometimes we don't. When this happens it may mean days or weeks of trying to rebook and not miss each other again. In my experience, when a client and I miss each other the first time, it's not been a good sign for things to come. These have often turned out to be the clients who don't want to engage, or that I will end up chasing down just to get a few measly face-to-face contacts before they disappear completely.
I have two new clients to meet this week. Look for me, I'll be the anxious, jilted looking lady with purple bags under my eyes.
I try to ask them for a bit of a physical description when we arrange the meeting. I have learned that most people are not very good at giving this type of information. Unless there is a really obvious feature like they use a wheelchair, or have 3-foot long dreads, most people describe themselves in pretty basic terms - I'm kinda short, I have dark hair...useful stuff. I don't know if this is lack of self-awareness, or self-conciousness that prevents people from being more specific.
So I try to describe myself in order that they can find me. I try to go with some specifics that won't easily confuse me with others - I have a nose ring, I carry a large purple bag, I wear a red scarf. But many clients are nervous about a first meeting, and may not approach me. To be sure some are the complete opposite, but I've had at least one woman sit in her car staring at me through the Tim Horton's window for almost half an hour before she could psych herself up to approach me (I'm really not that intimidating!).
Then there's always the tried and true but slightly embarrasing method of "asking around" - is your name Bob? No? Sorry to bother you.
I can't help but feel this gives people the impression that I'm there for some really lame mid-afternoon scuzzy-coffee shop blind date or something.
Some clients have cell phones and sometimes they even give me the number, so then I can try to call them. Hopefully, their phone is turned on. And hopefully it has minutes. And hopefully they're not screening calls thus ignoring my "restricted number".
Usually, we track each other down eventually. Sometimes we don't. When this happens it may mean days or weeks of trying to rebook and not miss each other again. In my experience, when a client and I miss each other the first time, it's not been a good sign for things to come. These have often turned out to be the clients who don't want to engage, or that I will end up chasing down just to get a few measly face-to-face contacts before they disappear completely.
I have two new clients to meet this week. Look for me, I'll be the anxious, jilted looking lady with purple bags under my eyes.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday the 13th resolutions*
So I realize I'm a little late to the game, but I've decided it's time to make some resolutions for 2012. Not for my personal life which is practically perfect in every way (or not, whatever) but for my professional life.
It actually makes more sense to do this now that on January 1st.
On January 1st I was in full-blown vacation mode. Driving along country roads gazing at the snow dusted fields, fresh from enjoying a cozy night with some friends in an old farm house. Pleased with myself for downing enough water and eating half a loaf of olive bread to soak up the booze so I didn't feel too hung over. Spending the rest of the day snuggling on the couch....ahem, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, resolutions.
So anyway, things were rosy at New Years giving me no impetus to change. By now I've been back to work for a week, and admittedly it's made me a bit of a grumpy bear (that's what AM would call me in his most mock-caring voice). This attitude sucks. For me, and everyone around me. I'm sure this doesn't exlude my clients. I care about them, I really do, and I don't like to feel that this doesn't come through in my work.
So I'm working on resolving this (ha, see what I did there?) or perhaps to put it in some more social-worky terms I'm trying to develop some strengths-based goals for myself. In some cases I'm just renewing old goals. Here's what I've got so far:
1. Practice positive thinking, not just for clients but for myself
2. Better self-care: always
3. Learn to say NO to things that will only drag me down (I really suck at this currently)
4. Keep up the job search, the right one WILL come along
5. Find creative ways to get involved at this job that will promote a better experience
6. Be thankful for what I have - be happy
They're not exactly SMART goals yet (10 points if you know what that is) but like I said, I'm working on it.
So what about you, any professional or personal resolutions this year?
*I know there is some kind of joke about bad luck in here, it's just not coming to me. TGIF
It actually makes more sense to do this now that on January 1st.
On January 1st I was in full-blown vacation mode. Driving along country roads gazing at the snow dusted fields, fresh from enjoying a cozy night with some friends in an old farm house. Pleased with myself for downing enough water and eating half a loaf of olive bread to soak up the booze so I didn't feel too hung over. Spending the rest of the day snuggling on the couch....ahem, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, resolutions.
So anyway, things were rosy at New Years giving me no impetus to change. By now I've been back to work for a week, and admittedly it's made me a bit of a grumpy bear (that's what AM would call me in his most mock-caring voice). This attitude sucks. For me, and everyone around me. I'm sure this doesn't exlude my clients. I care about them, I really do, and I don't like to feel that this doesn't come through in my work.
So I'm working on resolving this (ha, see what I did there?) or perhaps to put it in some more social-worky terms I'm trying to develop some strengths-based goals for myself. In some cases I'm just renewing old goals. Here's what I've got so far:
1. Practice positive thinking, not just for clients but for myself
2. Better self-care: always
3. Learn to say NO to things that will only drag me down (I really suck at this currently)
4. Keep up the job search, the right one WILL come along
5. Find creative ways to get involved at this job that will promote a better experience
6. Be thankful for what I have - be happy
They're not exactly SMART goals yet (10 points if you know what that is) but like I said, I'm working on it.
So what about you, any professional or personal resolutions this year?
*I know there is some kind of joke about bad luck in here, it's just not coming to me. TGIF
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