(Overheard at work)
"I want the Zit Remedy to reform and do a duet with Drake."
If you get it, you get it. Made me laugh anyway.
Showing posts with label off topic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label off topic. Show all posts
Monday, November 5, 2012
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Adventures at the Doctor's Office pt 1
Found in a doctor's waiting room yesterday. It's not the best shot, so in case you can't tell that is a National Geographic magazine from October 1977. I know doctor's offices are notorious for providing out of date reading material, but this is a little ridiculous! There was an ad for "color TV" on the back.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Lesson in Democracy
My kiddo’s school is doing a number of things in April to celebrate Earth Day (April 22). One of these is a fundraiser to “help protect wild animals” with the Earth Rangers. According to kiddo, her teacher presented them with four different animals and let the class vote to choose which one to support.
Kiddo and her deskmate/bff voted for the wolverine* but they were the underdogs, so to speak. The rest of the class supported other animals, and ultimately the Peregrine Falcon was the winner.
“It’s so not fair” she says, as “now those other animals will not get our help. It’s so not fair that some of us wanted to pick other animals, but they don’t count because some more people wanted the falcon.”
As a perennial left-wing voter in this current Canadian election campaign, I can totally feel her pain.
It really sucks to feel like your voice is not being heard. I’m sure Elizabeth May knows how the kiddo feels right about now.
The English language debate happens tonight.
*according to her, because it is “such an unusual animal, but maybe we wouldn’t think it was so unusual if it was not endangered and there were more of them.” Her friend picked the wolverine because of XMEN.
Kiddo and her deskmate/bff voted for the wolverine* but they were the underdogs, so to speak. The rest of the class supported other animals, and ultimately the Peregrine Falcon was the winner.
“It’s so not fair” she says, as “now those other animals will not get our help. It’s so not fair that some of us wanted to pick other animals, but they don’t count because some more people wanted the falcon.”
As a perennial left-wing voter in this current Canadian election campaign, I can totally feel her pain.
It really sucks to feel like your voice is not being heard. I’m sure Elizabeth May knows how the kiddo feels right about now.
The English language debate happens tonight.
*according to her, because it is “such an unusual animal, but maybe we wouldn’t think it was so unusual if it was not endangered and there were more of them.” Her friend picked the wolverine because of XMEN.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Stupid Stories from Work and from Home
#1 – Work
A co-worker – let’s call her “Kimberly” – was back to the office for the first day after her vacation. Kimberly had an appointment scheduled with “Jeremy J” at 1:00.
At 10:00, Jeremy J shows up to meet with Kimberly. He’s early, but she makes time to meet with him anyway. They sit for about an hour talking about the program supports she can offer, and the type of help that he is looking for. He's really enthusiastic and feels this is "just what I need!" They schedule a follow up appointment for the following week.
At 1:00, Jeremy J shows up to meet with Kimberly. Ah, wait a minute…you’re not Jeremy J, he was already here, and you don’t look a thing like him! It sinks in for Kimberly that she MET AND ASSESSED THE WRONG PERSON with a very similar name. We’re still trying to figure out how this happened, and now she has to do an assessment report for both and figure out just what we’re going to do with Jeremy J #1, since he hasn’t really even been referred to us! Welcome back Kimberly, vacation’s over.
#2 – Home
For some reason, AM decided that he really wanted Five Alive fruit punch at dinner. Dinner was only a short way away, so he put the can of concentrate out on the counter to thaw.
All three of us are hanging around the kitchen waiting for the vegetables to finish roasting, and AM decides that the juice is likely thawed enough to get out of the can. He pulls the little plastic tab and pops the metal top off, but the juice is still pretty frozen and doesn’t want to come out.
AM cleverly decides to hold the lid back on the can and give it a shake to loosen the juice so he can dump it in the jug. Somehow while completing this action (the details of which will be debated in the family for years to come, no doubt) the juice EXPLODES out of the can, landing on just about every single surface in our rather small kitchen, including a dollop on the kiddo’s head, and a good portion in my hair, clothes, and down my neck!
It took one dishcloth, two showers, and three times mopping the floor to (almost) clean up the mess. AM will forever be held responsible for the “Five Alive Attack!” (unless I come up with a better title. Anyone?)
A co-worker – let’s call her “Kimberly” – was back to the office for the first day after her vacation. Kimberly had an appointment scheduled with “Jeremy J” at 1:00.
At 10:00, Jeremy J shows up to meet with Kimberly. He’s early, but she makes time to meet with him anyway. They sit for about an hour talking about the program supports she can offer, and the type of help that he is looking for. He's really enthusiastic and feels this is "just what I need!" They schedule a follow up appointment for the following week.
At 1:00, Jeremy J shows up to meet with Kimberly. Ah, wait a minute…you’re not Jeremy J, he was already here, and you don’t look a thing like him! It sinks in for Kimberly that she MET AND ASSESSED THE WRONG PERSON with a very similar name. We’re still trying to figure out how this happened, and now she has to do an assessment report for both and figure out just what we’re going to do with Jeremy J #1, since he hasn’t really even been referred to us! Welcome back Kimberly, vacation’s over.
#2 – Home
For some reason, AM decided that he really wanted Five Alive fruit punch at dinner. Dinner was only a short way away, so he put the can of concentrate out on the counter to thaw.
All three of us are hanging around the kitchen waiting for the vegetables to finish roasting, and AM decides that the juice is likely thawed enough to get out of the can. He pulls the little plastic tab and pops the metal top off, but the juice is still pretty frozen and doesn’t want to come out.
AM cleverly decides to hold the lid back on the can and give it a shake to loosen the juice so he can dump it in the jug. Somehow while completing this action (the details of which will be debated in the family for years to come, no doubt) the juice EXPLODES out of the can, landing on just about every single surface in our rather small kitchen, including a dollop on the kiddo’s head, and a good portion in my hair, clothes, and down my neck!
It took one dishcloth, two showers, and three times mopping the floor to (almost) clean up the mess. AM will forever be held responsible for the “Five Alive Attack!” (unless I come up with a better title. Anyone?)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Who'll Be the Lucky Winner?
Following the disgusting and disturbing trend of cosmetic surgery as acceptable self-improvement method, à la Bridalplasty, I just heard a commercial on the radio advertizing that a local night club is offering free breast implants as a raffle prize tonight. Please note the picture of the conventionally attractive, slim, young, white woman with the breast that seems to be bigger than her head, apparently advertizing said prize. Message received: big boobs=HOT, and we women will should seize any opportunity to be HOT. It’s what WE really want. It makes us happy.
I can’t even begin to discuss this in a reasonable manner, so I’ll just assume everyone here understands why I think this is offensive and ridiculous, unless I’m informed otherwise.
I’d rather have the motorcycle.
I can’t even begin to discuss this in a reasonable manner, so I’ll just assume everyone here understands why I think this is offensive and ridiculous, unless I’m informed otherwise.
I’d rather have the motorcycle.
TGIF
I woke up. I was dark, and I had to pee. Shuffled my feet along the cold, cold floor with my eyes half open, making a point of not looking at the clock. I know that if I look at the clock and see the time, my brain will start calculating how many hours and minutes of sleep time are left, and I won’t GET back to sleep. I’ve learned this lesson well, and have my shuffle to the bathroom down pat at half-asleep mode.
Get to the bathroom, head back to bed and JUST (just!) lay my head down when the alarm goes off.
No kidding.
Downstairs a few minutes later and still more or less asleep, I poured juice onto my cereal. That’s what sort of day it’s setting up to be.
Daylight savings time cannot end soon enough!
Get to the bathroom, head back to bed and JUST (just!) lay my head down when the alarm goes off.
No kidding.
Downstairs a few minutes later and still more or less asleep, I poured juice onto my cereal. That’s what sort of day it’s setting up to be.
Daylight savings time cannot end soon enough!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Dia de la Muerte*
I think I have a halloween hangover.
It SNOWED yesterday, and was freezing cold, so we didn't get as many trick or treaters as last year. Lots and lots of left over candy. Too much of it consumed by me. At least I deserved it - I was more dressed up that a lot of the kids!
*which I realize is actually Nov 2 *shrug*
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
For Hire
In my travels around town today, I drove past a plaza with one of those temp agency jobs places. On the street corner at the end of the plaza was a middle aged guy walking around wearing a weather-beaten and very sorry looking bristol-board sign advertizing “Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! AAA-111 Employment Agency!!!”
Somebody drew the short straw at the jobs office this morning.
Somebody drew the short straw at the jobs office this morning.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Fill In The Blank Friday
From the little things we do via Social Worker Mom:
1. I am doing a poor job at focusing on my work today.
2. I wish it was 5:00 and I had a big bottle of wine already.
3. I like red wine.
4. I can sing really well.
5. I hope it’s not this bloody cold all weekend.
6. I think I should get back to work.
7. I was going to finish some notes, but I got distracted.
1. I am doing a poor job at focusing on my work today.
2. I wish it was 5:00 and I had a big bottle of wine already.
3. I like red wine.
4. I can sing really well.
5. I hope it’s not this bloody cold all weekend.
6. I think I should get back to work.
7. I was going to finish some notes, but I got distracted.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Hopefully NOT a sign of things to come.
Walked face first into the bathroom door at 6:30 this morning. Way to start the day, champ!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Breaking News
Yesterday on my lunch break, I decided to go to my old credit union to close an account. It was an old savings account with a couple hundred bucks sitting in it, that had been inactive for a couple years. The credit union is a little out of the way (part of the reason I stopped going there) so I had been putting this task off for some time.
They’d had some major renovations since I was there last, and had sleek new counters and fancy leather couches. They had also installed some of those clear markers of 21st century affluence, flat screen TVs. These days of course, we can watch TV everywhere from the queue in the coffee shop, to the self-serve gas pump. Much like all those other places, these screens (the one in particular that I could see while waiting for the teller to process my information) displayed a combination of ads for the credit union and their products, and “news headlines” from an online source.
My eyes invariably fell for this trap, and wandered over to the screen as I waited at the counter. I read “Martin Streek, the Toronto DJ respected for his knowledge of the alternative rock scene, has been found dead in his Toronto home.” Hmm. I thought that guy died a while ago. Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong person.
“Prime Minister Steven Harper should not have accepted communion at Romeo Leblanc’s state funeral.” Now I know that didn’t just happen. Several other “news items” popped up, confirming my suspicion – these headlines are over a year old! I looked them up when I got back to the office – yup, we’re talking July 8, 2009! Was I the only one seeing this?
Ah, technology: the way of the future. Needless to say, I was happy to walk out the door with my cash in hand, enjoying having the last laugh on this financial institution.
They’d had some major renovations since I was there last, and had sleek new counters and fancy leather couches. They had also installed some of those clear markers of 21st century affluence, flat screen TVs. These days of course, we can watch TV everywhere from the queue in the coffee shop, to the self-serve gas pump. Much like all those other places, these screens (the one in particular that I could see while waiting for the teller to process my information) displayed a combination of ads for the credit union and their products, and “news headlines” from an online source.
My eyes invariably fell for this trap, and wandered over to the screen as I waited at the counter. I read “Martin Streek, the Toronto DJ respected for his knowledge of the alternative rock scene, has been found dead in his Toronto home.” Hmm. I thought that guy died a while ago. Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong person.
“Prime Minister Steven Harper should not have accepted communion at Romeo Leblanc’s state funeral.” Now I know that didn’t just happen. Several other “news items” popped up, confirming my suspicion – these headlines are over a year old! I looked them up when I got back to the office – yup, we’re talking July 8, 2009! Was I the only one seeing this?
Ah, technology: the way of the future. Needless to say, I was happy to walk out the door with my cash in hand, enjoying having the last laugh on this financial institution.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
My stomach in crisis
Emergency!
Where did all the office snacks go?!? They were here on Friday when I left, but now they seem to have disappeared…
I need something to get me though all these assessments.
Where did all the office snacks go?!? They were here on Friday when I left, but now they seem to have disappeared…
I need something to get me though all these assessments.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Totally off topic post warning!
Car idling is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. But what bothers me even more is that I don’t feel I can do anything about it.
I was sitting in the car this morning in a parking lot between home visits. I had some time, so I was checking my messages and making notes.
A car pulled up beside me and a woman got out with a little dog. She seemed to be giving it a little rest stop on the lawn of this building. Fine. But she left her car running the whole time!
I got nosy and peered through the window and checked – there were no other people or animals in the car. Even if there were, it’s a beautiful sunny day out, so could be absolutely no need to keep the heat running. If she was concerned about the car getting too hot, she could have opened the windows. I don’t get it! She was out of the car at least 15 minutes.
I briefly considered confronting her when she came back to her car, but couldn’t figure out a way that it wouldn’t sound really rude – let’s face it, that’s not going to get me anywhere, even if it would be fun. I fantasized about hopping in her car and driving away, since she had so kindly left the keys for me – but I’m not really interested in incurring criminal charges while on the job.
I wrote her a note: Please do not idle your car. There is no reason for it.
I stuck it on the windshield, then drove away before she could come back.
I can only hope she will take it to heart, and not just discard it on the ground. But I wouldn’t put it past such a serious car-idler (idler? is this a word?) to be a little bug as well.
*we will return shortly with your regularly scheduled blog*
I was sitting in the car this morning in a parking lot between home visits. I had some time, so I was checking my messages and making notes.
A car pulled up beside me and a woman got out with a little dog. She seemed to be giving it a little rest stop on the lawn of this building. Fine. But she left her car running the whole time!
I got nosy and peered through the window and checked – there were no other people or animals in the car. Even if there were, it’s a beautiful sunny day out, so could be absolutely no need to keep the heat running. If she was concerned about the car getting too hot, she could have opened the windows. I don’t get it! She was out of the car at least 15 minutes.
I briefly considered confronting her when she came back to her car, but couldn’t figure out a way that it wouldn’t sound really rude – let’s face it, that’s not going to get me anywhere, even if it would be fun. I fantasized about hopping in her car and driving away, since she had so kindly left the keys for me – but I’m not really interested in incurring criminal charges while on the job.
I wrote her a note: Please do not idle your car. There is no reason for it.
I stuck it on the windshield, then drove away before she could come back.
I can only hope she will take it to heart, and not just discard it on the ground. But I wouldn’t put it past such a serious car-idler (idler? is this a word?) to be a little bug as well.
*we will return shortly with your regularly scheduled blog*
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