b.i.d.

Me: Do you have any medical or physical health problems?
Client: None
Me: Do you take any medications?
Client: Oh yeah, Metformin, Adalat for my blood pressure, Clonazepam, and one for my cholesterol...

With wee little petri dishes, and tiny test tubes...

line from hospital records...

"There have been little laboratory investigations performed."

I'm picturing something like this:

Overheard clients in the hallway

I always go to my shrink, but I don't get any smaller!

I'm reading this now and realizing it's likely some lame old joke, but it's the first time I heard it, and it made me laugh.  Gotta love when people can laugh at themselves too.

Call to the Resource Line

Mental health resource line, can I help you?

Hi, I'd like some help to find resources for my daughter, she's 23 and...oh shit!  Here she comes and she looks pissed! *click*

A Motto For Social Work (and everyday)

Source: Therese on Pinterest

Hierarchy of Care

Yesterday I took a client to a doctors appointment.  We arrived about 5 minutes before the appointment time, but as with most doctors this one was running late.  No biggie.  After being there about 25 minutes, we and one other gentleman are the last in the waiting room.  The doc calls the other guy in and tells us "there will be no more waiting, I am missing my lunch hour".  I told him I couldn't continue to wait over his lunch time, so he let the other guy hanging out to dry and took us instead.

I told him I appreciated him seeing my client first, and he told me that next time we should not expect our appointment to be on time.  I told him I was okay with waiting 20 minutes or so and try to account for this in my scheduling, but I have other appointments to get to as well.  So he said that when I am bringing a client to see him I should not book any appointments for the rest of the day.  Because he might have to fit in patients who are suicidal, or in crisis.  WHAT DOES HE THINK I DO ALL DAY????!?!?!!?

I get that doctors are busy.  Their job is important, and I have certainly been appreciative when they will rearrange their schedule to see one of my clients who is in crisis or suicidal or whatever.  But why is his schedule so much more important than mine so that he can tell me how to arrange my day, and how to do my job?  I have other people to see too!  And don't expect me to feel sorry that your lunch will be delayed when I had to eat a sandwich in my car while making the 40 kilometer trip to pick up this woman whom he will now see for 5 minutes.   I may have been more sympathetic if he hadn't been so rude about it.  An over-inflated sense of entitlement won't get you far with me.

The Big Barn in the Sky

For some reason I remembered this story the other day and thought I should share.

This was a couple years ago when I was in an intake worker role.  A young woman had been referred to us who at the time was staying in temporary crisis housing for people with dual diagnosis (in Canada that refers to mental health and developmental disability).  Usually we would do intakes at our office but since she had no transportation, was not familiar with the area where she was housed and was in a pretty dire situation we agreed to meet her at the place she was staying.  Since this was an off-site visit with a client we'd never met before, and since we were curious about the program supporting her (hadn't dealt with them before) my intake partner and I decided we would both go to meet her.

This young woman had been through a lot.  Most notably, her mother had died recently and that among  other things ended her up in the crisis housing.  She had no other family, but did have close friends who were now her guardians and she would be moving in with them soon.  Despite everything she'd been through and her DD, she was engaging, optimistic and had a sense of humour throughout the interview.  We got all the information we needed, told her about our program and let her know we would be in touch.

Once outside, I commented to my partner that I was impressed  and pleasantly surprised at how together and well this young woman had seemed.  She looked at me with utter confusion and said "What?!  She was either psychotic or her cognition is lower than we thought.  All that talk about how her mother "bought the farm"?  I don't think she understands that her mother DIED, I'm really worried about her!  She thinks her mother is on a farm somewhere!"

At which point I burst out laughing and had to explain the euphemism.  It was a cute moment.

But not much

Me: (asking about psychotic symptoms when filling out a client-directed assessment form)

Client: Sometimes I know things nobody else knows.  Just put down "a little bit psychic".  

That's what She said

Me: So how does your ex-wife feel about this change?

Client: Oh, she's okay.  She's come to terminologies with it.

The Greatest Day

Client quote of the day for sure:

Client: It's the greatest day of my life!  I can't hear anything anymore!
Me: What? You can't hear?
Client: I can't hear the voices anymore, they're gone!

Wurkd fer mee

A co-worker exclaiming over some (presumably) outrageous spelling errors:
I'm not hooked on phonics people, but come on!

20minutes@350degrees.com

From a client assessment by one of my co-workers:

Roger is responsible for paying his phone bill independently.  He does this through online baking.

*yes, small things like typos amuse me.*

Port: Where you dock your vessel *wink*wink*

From a mental health assessment form: 

Sec 14. Addictions
Rating example: Highly problematic, person is unable to stop using internet port sites and has lost job and wife.

Did I Miss the Party?

Email sent from a co-worker:

I would like to thank those that have given to the food drive for families that is being run by my client via the Fellowship Church program.


The champagne closes on Wednesday October 19th

Email of the Day

Hi Everyone,

Sorry but I seem to be the barrier of bad new lately!


I think this homophonic mix-up by our IT person may have been a Freudian slip.  We have been plagued by network and system problems in the past two weeks, and this was from an email informing us of more problems.  She probably wishes she could throw up some kind of tech-force field to protect from any more problems.  I think "bad new lately" is just some kind of code for "everything sucks right now".  I should really give her a break since she's been working day and night to try to fix all this stuff.

;-)

Alternative Medicine...Sweet, Sweet Medicine...

Any changes to your medication recently?

-Well, my doctor says my cholesterol is high. He prescribed me something for it, but I don't think I'm going to take it because of the side effects.

My friend had high cholesterol and his doctor told him to start eating walnuts. He ate a whole bunch and his cholesterol came right down in a week! So I already went to the grocery store and picked up a big box of walnut brownies.

No Problem...

A client I recently started working with had been on our service wait-list for nine months. With such a long wait for support, it’s not uncommon that peoples illness or situation becomes worse between intake and initial service. That wait can be a very difficult time for many.

Before this person came in, I read the intake report. He seemed to have a lot of bad stuff going on, so when he came to meet me, I was surprised to see a very calm, well put together guy. Still, appearances can be deceiving, and I wouldn’t know more until I talked to him.

Through our initial conversation it came out that he is back living with his family (had previously been transient) is working a full time job that he enjoys, spends time with friends and has not had any psychotic symptoms in months. He also stopped taking all of his medications, and stopped seeing his psychiatrist.

After he left, the intake worker who had seen him last summer asked who he was, as she didn’t even recognize him. She asked me what had happened, and I told her what he had said to me:

“I stopped taking drugs. Even though I didn’t want to, I figured things would probably get better, and they did.”

Go figure.

If only it were always so simple…

Adventures at the Doctor's Office pt 2

Sometimes I read Dr. Grumpy and feel sorry for the doctors. Sometimes I sit in a waiting room and feel sorry for the patients!

A woman came in and I overheard this exchange:

Ms. Skrewd – Hello, I’m here early as usual!
Receptionist – I’m sorry, we don’t have you down for an appointment…
Ms. S – What do you mean? I see Dr. Nohelp twice a year to check my ____________. I booked this appointment 6 months ago!
Receptionist – (checking computer)…I’m sorry I really don’t see your name here. Although we did change our booking system a few months ago, so we may have lost your appointment.
Ms. S – Look, I had to take off work to be here. Can she fit me in?
Receptionist – She’s not here today. She’s never in on Wednesdays.
Ms. S – Well how soon could you book me in to see her?
Receptionist – I’m sorry, she’s about to go on maternity leave. This is her last week.

I think that’s when Ms. Skrewd’s head exploded. They did get her in to see one of the other doc’s however.

Case Manager: Expert in Everything

Voicemail left by a client over the weekend:

"I got my flyers today, they have a sale on an 8GB ipod for (insert $$ amount) and my sister says she can get an extra 10% with her seniors discount. Can you call me back and let me know if that is a good deal?"

A Lesson in Democracy pt II

"I'm not going to vote for that Michael Ignatieff guy. He looks kind of sinister, or evil or something!"


As the federal election approaches, I've been asking all my clients if they plan to vote, and encouraging them to do so. The responses have been all over the place surprising mixed, to say the least.