With wee little petri dishes, and tiny test tubes...

line from hospital records...

"There have been little laboratory investigations performed."

I'm picturing something like this:

Insight

from hosp records:

"The patient stated that she was also worried about all the other patients, that they were given unhealthy food and carbohydrate loaded food."

In the doctors assessment notes and the referral we received for this client, she was presented as being a trouble maker, difficult and bothersome.  She called every hospital administrator she could track down to complain about the hospital food.

Sounds to me like she just knows what's going on!

Operator, what's wrong?*

The fax came through, but the page must have twisted or crumpled a bit, because the extension number was obscured.  Tried to guess at the number, but guessed wrong (sorry to have bothered you ma'am). 

Called the main line of the hospital and gave the new "automated voice system" a try, but the computer figured that "Andrea" was close enough to "Angela" and patched you through wrong again.

Called the main line, pressed 0 for the operator to ask a real person.  They gave you the extension for the department, which didn't even match the 4 out of 5 numbers you could read on the original document.  Spoke to a very nice lady who told you no, you need to call our downtown location.  Gave you that number, and you give it a whirl.

Another helpful sort answers the phone only to tell you:
1) the person you want to speak to is not in today
2) the whole department closed half an hour ago &
3) you'll need a new release of information before you speak to the person you've been trying to reach anyway.  The one you have is out of date.

Aaargh!

*I dial stupid number all day long! 6060-842

Whoa, Stop the Presses!

Or maybe "hold the phone!" would be a better choice of phrase, as the presses do seem to be working which is precisely the point of this post.

Ah, maybe I should just get to said point.

I faxed some consent to release information forms out today in hopes of getting some hospital records for a file before I present it on Wednesday, knowing full well I'll be extremely lucky to see them before the end of the week.

But lo and behold, one hospital faxed the records to us within the hour! Within the hour!

I have never seen this before. I was so excited I wanted to tell somebody, and since my partner-in-crime is on vacation I went to make my supervisor my witness (I'm sure she didn't have more important things to do).

Of course they weren't the psychiatric records, they were some medical records we wanted as supporting documentation. It would have to be a medical hospital that we almost never NEED records from who would be timely about it. But hey, I'll take what thrills I can get! (sad, isn't it?)

Thanks, Doc

Note in hospital records that my desk-mate was reading today:

“...this woman did not appear to be very bright”

...

Seriously? Is this considered a “professional” or “medical” opinion?

I’m going to start a training program entitled “Appropriate Note Writing for Dummies Psychiatrists.

P.S. thanks to a couple new "followers" for tagging along! Hi!

Hospital Record Gaffe

"Her psychiatrist in the committee is Dr. Mechanical"

Assuming that "committee" here is supposed to be "community". And I know the good doctor's proper name is not "Mechanical" (but I can't tell you what it really is, can I?)

Gotta hope this was the fault of some kind of dictation machine.